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This Is Dorsal Vagus Shutdown (Trauma Shutdown)
The serene strike of a benign relaxation exercise leaves me annihilated, Jolted out of it aggressively with the memory of a child perversely violated. Now I am dead, can’t move, paralysed, come to a stop, Eyes stuck in a fixed stare, can’t rise from the soft sofa chair. There is a famine of action here,…
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Dead Behind The Eyes:A dedication to those with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the special people who work with them to find colour and life again.
My soul is hollow, vacant, there is nothing inside. Behind the warm hazel and striking brown intensity, the mirror of my eyes, There is nothing. A grey death, a barren land, A slight wish for someone to hold my hand. I drive gently through the street, Observe how the sun, silently illuminates. The sky projecting…
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I hurt
But I’ve been writing all day today and I’m still hurting. I do art with the same intention swapping around the bits of my brain used. But I’ve done art today too and still I hurt. It is hurt covered in a blanket of internal rage. There are too many layers to reach it today.…