Is it a fertile imagination?

Or are you the only one who understands my words?

Am I being fanciful?

Then why is it just you that makes me feel heard?

It hurts to think about you (though it soothes me)

But not to know I never cross your mind

I want to share everything with you

To all of it you are blind.

You know about my little crush, infatuation,

You think it’s in the past.

Don’t read the intentions behind my verbosity

Just think it’s a mind of great velocity.

It’s not psychotic, it’s genuinely erotic.

An unrequited love is still real,

Sadly not reciprocated freely

And causing one to steal…it.

It will only ever be stealing scraps of attention from you,

Though I long to know what you think of me.

You love your family with feeling, as they do you.

You have a perfect life, everything is nice.

Sometimes I’m jealous, in comparison to my strife.

If you loved me it would validate me.

It would mean I’m untarnished, loveable and clean.

Like nothing bad had ever happened to me.

I hadn’t let anybody be mean.

I’ve never loved someone like you before.

The opposite of that I’m accustomed to seek.

Your navy shoes are dreadful.

You’re a little bit of a geek.

I don’t know if your soul is idealised in my head,

I’ve ignored absences in your heart and don’t know what human you are?

But the absence of contact pierces mine acutely

With a sharp silver dart.

You don’t give me many words,

But they feed me like no other.

I mourn that there’ll never be another.

Though I know you don’t want me as lover, friend or mother.

I delude myself you want to hear my words

It causes pain that you don’t really want to talk at all.

If we’d met somewhere socially, would you still leave me to fall…away?

I wish you could just say you WOULD like me as a lover or a friend?

In a different circumstance, happenstance,

We met in a different place,

If you weren’t already living perfection and grace.

Those words would ease my ache,

Make it less hard to take.

And I’m not ashamed to say right now I need you

Only you, to validate…me.