Never Been Heard

(formerly The Musings and Learnings of a Widowed Bipolar Mum)

Category: Uncategorized

  • Dead Behind The Eyes:A dedication to those with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the special people who work with them to find colour and life again.

    My soul is hollow, vacant, there is nothing inside. Behind the warm hazel and striking brown intensity, the mirror of my eyes, There is nothing. A grey death, a barren land, A slight wish for someone to hold my hand. I drive gently through the street, Observe how the sun, silently illuminates. The sky projecting…

  • Abuse Amnesia

    www.goodtherapy.org/blog/abuse-amnesia-why-we-stay-with-our-abusive-partners-1003175 I have been struck by the contrast in my earlier posts and the posts now since my eyes have been opened to the truth of my experience. I thought this might help somebody and if not it makes for an interesting read.

  • Your Dying Was A Great Blessing (Emotional Abuse at the hands of a Narcissist).

    You don’t own this home, but you do. Whether in it or missing from it, After a bout of silent, savage, hissing, I can be found frozen, afraid, sitting, Not knowing what to do next, Shocked, where’d the bliss go? There never was much kissing. I hate you, I’m glad that you are dead, I’m…

  • Unrequited love and Validation

    Is it a fertile imagination? Or are you the only one who understands my words? Am I being fanciful? Then why is it just you that makes me feel heard? It hurts to think about you (though it soothes me) But not to know I never cross your mind I want to share everything with…

  • I hurt

    But I’ve been writing all day today and I’m still hurting. I do art with the same intention swapping around the bits of my brain used. But I’ve done art today too and still I hurt. It is hurt covered in a blanket of internal rage. There are too many layers to reach it today.…

  • Lemonade for the Renegade

    Your immaturity finds it’s way to the stage in rage. Forceful and Fierce, I cause you to disengage. A futile routine seeking change, you’ll never reach that place Once more your default action is to confine me to a cage. You say, all the gang say, I don’t know how to behave. In reality, I’m…

  • I am the Master of Me

    I am not broken, Though my energies spent, You were hell bent on destroying me Though you faked concern, cloyingly I am the master of me. I AM the master of me Boundless strength inside of me A cleansing well to use To fight memories of abuse To reconnect my head to my body Dispel…

  • Can’t knock me down (brief rape trigger).

    I’ll always be a winner Not held back by sinners I’ve worked far too hard To be held back by fucktards You won’t nail me to the cross I’m too fierce, I’m too boss. I won’t be restrained By those inflicting pain By your chit chat vicious, malicious Sending me back to him again. He’s…

  • Savage Sisters Try To Steal My Sanity

    Grotesque, greasy mouths, generate accusations and denunciations. They slip easily from the ugly, gaping holes of empty souls. Fired by spittle it’s plain to see they’re brittle. A pile of stinking crumbs makes it clear the source is dumb. But launched at someone with trauma, they penetrate the fragile aura. With the force of a…

  • Goodbye Sister Doubt

    Conversation with you leaves my heart with a contusion, Building fake love, mending, blown with sudden, leaking communion. A mind spilling with ill will and too much pollution, Ugly and arrogant delivering slimy execution. Bestowing heartbreak and confusion. Following the short lived illusion. You’re completely inept to understand the situation. Swimming in lack of knowledge…