The Silent Scream

The Silent Scream-A Scuplture In My living Room Heavy head, metallic and cream, Face lined with fear, a silent scream. Cracked and cold, chills my hand and my heart. This perfect sculpture is where we start. Eyes fiercely pinpricked, A soul that is old, A young aged face, a story untold. Deep-set eyes, Dark shadowsContinue reading “The Silent Scream”

Bipolar Disorder-The Ultimate Guide To Self Management For People Who Find Self Management Difficult

The phrase ‘Self Management’ is thrown around freely by users and Professionals as being key to recovery and relapse prevention. Some people with Bipolar Disorder seem to have it nailed. They have good self management routines that work for them and are vital to their recovery. From what I read in peoples tweets and selfContinue reading “Bipolar Disorder-The Ultimate Guide To Self Management For People Who Find Self Management Difficult”

Self Isolation & Bipolar Disorder, Living with someone with Covid-19

I am terrified of getting the Coronavirus. I never eat fruit, I don’t eat lunch, last time I had flu I really suffered and was wiped out for 2 weeks following which I got Bronchitis and  post viral fatigue for a further 2 weeks. In fact I’ve had Bronchitis 2 years in a row. IContinue reading “Self Isolation & Bipolar Disorder, Living with someone with Covid-19”

I Lost My Husband & Found A Piece Of Him In The Royal Albert Hall

            It’s been a challenging couple of weeks. Spring always is for me and it can start quite early. It is my mission this year not to have a Bipolar Depressive Episode. I am being proactive and pushing on with self-management the best way I can. My mood has definitely been on the low sideContinue reading “I Lost My Husband & Found A Piece Of Him In The Royal Albert Hall”

I Don’t Like The Silence But I Don’t Want To Make A Noise-Grief & Anxiety In The Evening

Since my husband died over 4 years ago, I’ve started to suffer anxiety at night. I’ve never really been an anxious person before and it took me some time to identify what it was. As evening approaches I start to feel unsettled, my activity level reduces and I just want to  get the essential thingsContinue reading “I Don’t Like The Silence But I Don’t Want To Make A Noise-Grief & Anxiety In The Evening”

The Effect Of Grief On Bipolar Disorder And How To Start To Overcome It

Ideas explored deeply in my upcoming book “Finding My Sorrow-A Memoir Of Extraordinary Love & Journey In Grief & Bipolar Disorder”.               Grief in those with pre-existing Bipolar Disorder is an area which is poorly addressed in terms of literature, understanding and practical support. Grief Counselling for Bipolar Disorder should be provided by someone notContinue reading “The Effect Of Grief On Bipolar Disorder And How To Start To Overcome It”

The Absence Of Sex In A Shameless Widow

My soulmate died of Cancer over 4 years ago. It was sudden and unexpected with under 3 months from diagnosis to death. My whole life changed overnight and I was of course completely devastated. My grief has not been linear. It has been broadly in 2 separate periods, delayed by my Bipolar Disorder, primarily episodesContinue reading “The Absence Of Sex In A Shameless Widow”

Bipolar Disorder: Grieving Your Lost Self, Your Past Pain and What Might Have Been

A follow up post to “Who Put Razor Blades In The Ice cream”               When I was a child I wanted to be an actress. I was talented. I had done it since I was about 5. I had good feedback from drama teachers and was in a local amateur drama group where I alwaysContinue reading “Bipolar Disorder: Grieving Your Lost Self, Your Past Pain and What Might Have Been”

Who Put Razor Blades In The Ice Cream-My Bipolar Journey

Ice Cream, Smarties and Holidays-A Happy Childhood?             I was born in 1975 and grew up in the calm and beautiful countryside, one of 3 daughters of 2 striking but relatively normal, extremely kind and nurturing parents with no history of abuse or trauma or significant loss. My parents were loving, as were my sisters,Continue reading “Who Put Razor Blades In The Ice Cream-My Bipolar Journey”