Never Been Heard

(formerly The Musings and Learnings of a Widowed Bipolar Mum)

Goodbye Sister Doubt

Conversation with you leaves my heart with a contusion,

Building fake love, mending, blown with sudden, leaking communion.

A mind spilling with ill will and too much pollution,

Ugly and arrogant delivering slimy execution.

Bestowing heartbreak and confusion.

Following the short lived illusion.

You’re completely inept to understand the situation.

Swimming in lack of knowledge and education

The inaccuracy of your opinions, swelling with self inflation.

The toxicity of your thoughts spilling radiation.

Exasperating to witness, you just can’t take new information.

Flexibly allow re-evaluate formation

No trust, no respect means never a variation.

Conversation with you leaves me needing a tank of floatation.

It’s like a violation.

Leaving hurt, frustration, agitation.

As a person who might know anything, you’re in poverty, an imitation.

Your thoughts are an illusion

Twisted simplistic delusions

Of my sanity and self awareness, basic allusions.

(Basic being the perfect word).

Reliable medical report and lived experience diminished, an ongoing exclusion

Always quick to raise “it’s the way you are” my personality as the solution.

To all the reported abuse and diagnosed illness intrusion

Your poisonous doubting thought diffusion,

Leaving only pain and family exclusions.

But I don’t know where to go, no hope in sight for your evolution

No ability to grow, your thoughts have no variations,

Like repeated quotations

You’re on one vibration

Can’t be corrected, no deviation.

Too stubborn and defensive, closed for elevation.

If only ignorance had a medication.

If none of this hurt I’d be knocked out with sedation

But you’re my sister, I’d hoped we’d resolve the situation.

For meaningful relations.

But your inflexibility of thought, your nature, leaves no hope of cessation

And rather than hear ugliness and unkindness, I’ll sit with sadness as the sensation

And live with the pain of this tragic ablation.

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