Never Been Heard

(formerly The Musings and Learnings of a Widowed Bipolar Mum)

Tag: grief

  • I hurt

    But I’ve been writing all day today and I’m still hurting. I do art with the same intention swapping around the bits of my brain used. But I’ve done art today too and still I hurt. It is hurt covered in a blanket of internal rage. There are too many layers to reach it today.…

  • Goodbye Sister Doubt

    Conversation with you leaves my heart with a contusion, Building fake love, mending, blown with sudden, leaking communion. A mind spilling with ill will and too much pollution, Ugly and arrogant delivering slimy execution. Bestowing heartbreak and confusion. Following the short lived illusion. You’re completely inept to understand the situation. Swimming in lack of knowledge…

  • Lost but I will prevail

    Hi. I want to work on my poetry so it has some more structure and form and traditional characteristics. But writing poems is very therapeutic for me and when I have to write a poem I just have to write it with my own rules. I came to the park intent on reading a book…

  • Reflections

    Who am I? Who was I? Who is she? Who was he? What the hell happened over here? I found this poem in a notebook yesterday, some of my reflections in December. It is a poem of reflection of the growth, faith and promise that can come from the darkest of times. It touches death,…

  • Camaraderie In Grief

    Having Bipolar Disorder, I have spoken already about how I can be cut off from my Grief. As such when Grief comes I am often grateful for the release it gives me and for the fact that it feels I am taking a step forwards in my working through my Grief process. I appreciate feelings…

  • Marrying a Dying Man

    Grief ebbs and flows. It never truly disappears. Sometimes I don’t even know that I am under it’s effects. This week I have been paralysed by Anxiety which I put down to a drop in mood which it may be in part but it rose and rose towards the end of the week as I…

  • Lucky Us-A Love Poem

    Your love was whole like creation Giving and nurturing, fun, never taking We had our own nation. Fragranced with energy Love balanced, Imaginative and wise, Sometimes disguised. Sapiosexual I’m told, Enthralled by your mind, Perspicacious and bold. Others clambering behind. Elaborate sexuality, Touch charged with electricity, Gentle, Rough, A perfect duplicity. Your love was whole,…

  • A Whoosh Of Unidentified Grief

    Laden with Grief, compressing my soul, Restricting movement, squeezing my lungs, A suprising turnout, midst debilitating burnout, I feel I’m coming undone. I wish he would visit and melt it away, I called he said he loved me but he’s too far from gone I need him with me now to pacify my fear. Just…

  • Fall From Grace-Vigilance & Honesty In Self Care

    Yesterday I posted why I haven’t been writing and why I still can’t write for a bit and it’s all very true. But this morning I woke up and realised how I am neglecting myself somewhat and how putting my writing on hold is part of that. Writing is one of my ‘me’ things and…

  • The Temperature Of Coma

    The Temperature Of Coma Staggering down the hallway Feet curled over you broke your flip flop. Struggling to speak, I didn’t know what was to come. Swaying side to side on the sofa Talking gibberish like a drunk, I thought it was the Morphine, I didn’t know what was to come. Seemingly eternal wait for…