Laden with Grief, compressing my soul,
Restricting movement, squeezing my lungs,
A suprising turnout, midst debilitating burnout,
I feel I’m coming undone.
I wish he would visit and melt it away,
I called he said he loved me but he’s too far from gone
I need him with me now to pacify my fear.
Just for a few hours for the whoosh of Grief to appear.
Trying to be the best alone has been a feat indeed to manage,
Even ’good enough’ for this long term has done some damage.
Raising a child alone is always a challenge at best,
But a sick one for 3 months I don’t have anything inside me left.
I’ve lost myself, I’ve lost my care, I miss the one who isn’t here.
I didn’t recognise the power, of rising Grief pushing me down.
I thought my relentless effort caused my semi constant frown.
I hate the power of this monster, that means nothing, a mere word.
But now I see it’s hurting me I’ll unblock it and make space,
Space to breathe, be energised and have a little faith.
Somewhat thwarted by impatience, I hope I don’t get stuck.
I need an exorcism if I’m on the side of luck.