Never Been Heard

(formerly The Musings and Learnings of a Widowed Bipolar Mum)

A Whoosh Of Unidentified Grief

Laden with Grief, compressing my soul,

Restricting movement, squeezing my lungs,

A suprising turnout, midst debilitating burnout,

I feel I’m coming undone.

I wish he would visit and melt it away,

I called he said he loved me but he’s too far from gone

I need him with me now to pacify my fear.

Just for a few hours for the whoosh of Grief to appear.

Trying to be the best alone has been a feat indeed to manage,

Even ’good enough’ for this long term has done some damage.

Raising a child alone is always a challenge at best,

But a sick one for 3 months I don’t have anything inside me left.

I’ve lost myself, I’ve lost my care, I miss the one who isn’t here.

I didn’t recognise the power, of rising Grief pushing me down.

I thought my relentless effort caused my semi constant frown.

I hate the power of this monster, that means nothing, a mere word.

But now I see it’s hurting me I’ll unblock it and make space,

Space to breathe, be energised and have a little faith.

Somewhat thwarted by impatience, I hope I don’t get stuck.

I need an exorcism if I’m on the side of luck.

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