Never Been Heard

(formerly The Musings and Learnings of a Widowed Bipolar Mum)

Loving a Narcissist

Into in my life you flounced

Self sales pitch left me astounded

All my senses surrounded

Feet swept off the ground

Unaware my mind and body were about to be impounded.

You intended to deflower

My mind and steal my body like a prowler

So insidious I’d not notice, certainly not flounder

Even though at times I’d lock the door and cower, fearful in the shower.

You smashed your fist and foot through it, with power.

I still believed in you devoutly

Even when your behaviour turned lousy

Chasing an ideal of us that was flowery

As you left me in silence, mousy.

You shamelessly continued, sulky, ill-tempered and grousy.

Your warped debauched needs you’d announce

And expect me to jump, dress up, rip off my blouse.

Sometimes like an animal you’d pounce

Still had unusual needs to arouse.

Lucky you’d trained me in the duties of a “REAL” spouse.

Often I knew I was drowning

It was evident from my howling

Your scowling increased, threatening voice, evil sounding.

Hard to take account, of my own role you kept me doubting,

Would you really take our child if I asked for rehousing?

Your sudden death, amnesia left me resounding

An assertion of a perfect union for my soulmate vouching

7 years on, a doorway to the truth at first confounding

Naïve in vulnerability and youth, I’d taken a vicious pounding

Happy I woke up for unclouding, my resilience unbounding.

Do browse at my back catalogue of poetry on a range of raw real life topics.

Alice X

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