Never Been Heard

(formerly The Musings and Learnings of a Widowed Bipolar Mum)

Category: Uncategorized

  • Mummy Poem 1 (Trigger Physical/Emotional Abuse-mild)

    I can’t remember when you first hit me I can’t remember how often you lost your mind with rage I remember a bad incident at 9 or 10, a bit old for you to behave this way. You shouted, chased me, screamed as was your pattern when you lost control, Grabbing, pushing, manhandling me, Whacking…

  • I’m sad today but I have hope

    Hi. Happy Saturday. It was a happy start to the day having a brunch date with my teen where we ate a spectacular pancake stack dripping with Greek yoghurt, fruit compote and loaded with blueberries. I love walking with linked arms down the street with her and having some quality time. She’s so busy these…

  • Don’t call me an “Abused”person

    It’s been 4 months since I found myself in a retrospective analysis of my life caused by distress, emotional pain but also numbness, fatigue and exhaustion, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts and dissociation, difficulties controlling my emotions and responses and difficulties being around other people. I didn’t want to do anything but lay down and listen to…

  • I don’t like this (trigger CSA) Innocence Lost Poem 1

    Bare bottom, cheap seats, scratchy fur, orange, brown Burning, sticky, poking, dry, over-rubbed Cold uncomfortable defeat with a relief it’s over Who were the other faceless people? Hurriedly exiting the disused caravan, The Conductor a teenage boy Who thought he was a man. It feels like a routine Whilst I hold onto hope it was…

  • In death we did not part-Sometimes that’s a bad thing

    Thanks for staying in my absence. My daughter is well now and gone back to school full time! So I am back to writing. Back to the blog and back to my (new) book. Things have taken a slightly different turn and so will my writing. You have seen my total adoration of my deceased…

  • Lost but I will prevail

    Hi. I want to work on my poetry so it has some more structure and form and traditional characteristics. But writing poems is very therapeutic for me and when I have to write a poem I just have to write it with my own rules. I came to the park intent on reading a book…

  • Smashed up by sisterhood

    How could you think it my fault? Would SHE really have made it up? Or is blaming me your default? Her team say it’s you who fucked up. Your thoughts, stereotyped and malignant Surpassed only by your mental abuse Yet you wonder at my indignance, Can you really be quite so obtuse? Tried to educate…

  • Friendship Lost & Facing your battles alone

    A bumpy dream of you last night A thorn vaguely pricks, my stomach, my side. Feelings from the vision More real than television A tiny tug inside my heart A throbbing recognition Of the loss that has passed me by. When you headed out to sea, A metaphorical peninsular, It certainly seemed natural, You always…

  • In Line, Serenity, Harmony

    MEANS what to me? Absence of nagging anxiety, Without wild outbursts Inside of my head or outwards Simply hugging them and me Or wrapping my arms around a tree. In line, serenity, harmony Means what to me? In line, an ebb and flow is fine. Happy not to ride the rollercoaster, Intimidating, overwhelming times. Living…

  • Balance