I’m not even writing
Frozen, freezing, fighting
All energy engaged on trying to be alive
Cut off from the world just trying to survive.
Keeping cat and daughter thriving.
My heart hurts but you can’t see it
If you hold my hand
You’ll feel it
Look deeply in my eyes
You might identify it.
How long will the wait be?
For the person who’ll understand and listen
I’ll be stripped of this protective shell
Warmth will hold me
The ice will dispel.
Reflecting on a life
Cold, damaged, aching, long
It’s entirety feels unreal
With little to appeal.
I need to make sense of the journey
Before I’m laid out on the gurney
The army of abusers, maltreaters misusers.
Release the pain and pathos
Really come to heal
And build a new life with zeal.