Never Been Heard

(formerly The Musings and Learnings of a Widowed Bipolar Mum)

Tag: csa

  • Wading Through Treacle

    I’m not even writing Frozen, freezing, fighting All energy engaged on trying to be alive Cut off from the world just trying to survive. Staying alive Functioning Surviving Keeping cat and daughter thriving. My heart hurts but you can’t see it If you hold my hand You’ll feel it Look deeply in my eyes You […]

  • The Ups and Downs of A Dysregulated Eater Part 1

    AKA HEALING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD Today was my first appointment with the dietician. Ambivalent as I was, having approached the GP with high hopes for a pill to stop me eating, I came out with a dietetics referral. Having long since stopped feeling remorse for eating bad food, and telling myself I didn’t care, […]

  • Happy Go Lucky Girl Child-Innocence Lost Poem 2 (Trigger CSA, rape)

    Grieving the happy go lucky girl child Walking hand in hand with a man with a tan Intoxicated not accustomed to drinking A walk on the beach not really thinking. Feeling a little plucky I guess Looking for a tale to tell A little adventure Maybe a kiss Nothing rough Painful Or mucky I really […]

  • I’m sad today but I have hope

    Hi. Happy Saturday. It was a happy start to the day having a brunch date with my teen where we ate a spectacular pancake stack dripping with Greek yoghurt, fruit compote and loaded with blueberries. I love walking with linked arms down the street with her and having some quality time. She’s so busy these […]

  • Don’t call me an “Abused”person

    It’s been 4 months since I found myself in a retrospective analysis of my life caused by distress, emotional pain but also numbness, fatigue and exhaustion, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts and dissociation, difficulties controlling my emotions and responses and difficulties being around other people. I didn’t want to do anything but lay down and listen to […]

  • I don’t like this (trigger CSA) Innocence Lost Poem 1

    Bare bottom, cheap seats, scratchy fur, orange, brown Burning, sticky, poking, dry, over-rubbed Cold uncomfortable defeat with a relief it’s over Who were the other faceless people? Hurriedly exiting the disused caravan, The Conductor a teenage boy Who thought he was a man. It feels like a routine Whilst I hold onto hope it was […]