Never Been Heard

(formerly The Musings and Learnings of a Widowed Bipolar Mum)

Tag: Bipolar Disorder

  • Healing my relationship with food-intro

    For 30 years I’ve had dysregulated eating. At 15, with completely normal weight I went on serious appetite suppressants from a dodgy clinic. I would see how many days I could survive on a packet of Maltesers. I always had a sweet tooth and a taste for the unhealthy. My life has been a series…

  • Suffocating

    Are you suffering unwanted images? I don’t know what that even means. Are we talking of blood splattered villages? Or my limbs bleeding out from the seams? Are you suffering unwanted images? Yes yes it’s the weight of oppression, Of the suffocating, numbing malaise Of a relentless Bipolar Depression. Are you suffering unwanted images? I…

  • Dirty Black Hole

    I am still battling an episode of depression. I think I was probably mildly depressed for about a year but I didn’t notice it as I’ve been living such a strange and restricted life anyway as my teen battles ME/CFS. I care, I lay down. That’s pretty much been it for nearly 2 years. I’ve…

  • Camaraderie In Grief

    Having Bipolar Disorder, I have spoken already about how I can be cut off from my Grief. As such when Grief comes I am often grateful for the release it gives me and for the fact that it feels I am taking a step forwards in my working through my Grief process. I appreciate feelings…

  • Fall From Grace-Vigilance & Honesty In Self Care

    Yesterday I posted why I haven’t been writing and why I still can’t write for a bit and it’s all very true. But this morning I woke up and realised how I am neglecting myself somewhat and how putting my writing on hold is part of that. Writing is one of my ‘me’ things and…

  • “The Thoughts” A Poem about Bipolar Hypomania to the structure and rhythm pattern of Edgar Allan Poes’ The Bells

    Feel the creeping joy of thoughts! Incandescent thought, Here the sense of perfect satisfaction sought, How they rise and rush and crackle, In the day and in the night. Sharing Love, Communication Sublime, Euphoric Nation. Losing time, time, time, In a sort of runic rhyme. Feeling emancipation befitting the talk. From the thoughts, thoughts, thoughts,…

  • Has The Lockdown Saved My Mental Health? Are People With A Diagnosed Mental Illness Riding This Out Better Than Those Without?

    This lockdown has been incredibly stressful for me. Especially at the beginning. I was preparing to do one anyway and pull my daughter from school as I didn’t think the government was responding quickly enough but a week before the official closure of everything, she caught the Coronavirus. Luckily I was prepared.             I wasn’t…

  • Bipolar Depression Is A Dark Beast

    Weighing heavy on my chest Rendering me immobile as I lay My best a distant memory Day by day by day Staring into the abyss Disconnecting as you devour me Nothing is worse than this I deteriorate hourly Your ugliness reflects back in the mirror But you’ve taught me not to care I have a…

  • Bipolar Disorder-The Ultimate Guide To Self Management For People Who Find Self Management Difficult

    The phrase ‘Self Management’ is thrown around freely by users and Professionals as being key to recovery and relapse prevention. Some people with Bipolar Disorder seem to have it nailed. They have good self management routines that work for them and are vital to their recovery. From what I read in peoples tweets and self…

  • I Lost My Husband & Found A Piece Of Him In The Royal Albert Hall

                It’s been a challenging couple of weeks. Spring always is for me and it can start quite early. It is my mission this year not to have a Bipolar Depressive Episode. I am being proactive and pushing on with self-management the best way I can. My mood has definitely been on the low side…