Never Been Heard

(formerly The Musings and Learnings of a Widowed Bipolar Mum)

Smashed up by sisterhood

It was all too perfect

How could you think it my fault?

Would SHE really have made it up?

Or is blaming me your default?

Her team say it’s you who fucked up.

Your thoughts, stereotyped and malignant

Surpassed only by your mental abuse

Yet you wonder at my indignance,

Can you really be quite so obtuse?

Tried to educate you, again and again,

But you complained about the information (or didn’t read it)

To the end

Refused to behave, like sisters or even basic friends,

Trust, respect and learning, a lack of inclination.

Kicked me down brutally,

When I could barely stand up,

Everyone around me says that you fucked up.

Smashed up our family with your fantasies and lies,

Puzzled you can look any one of us in the eyes.

Evil eyes don’t link up with the rest of your brain,

Hers a complex Illness to fathom, I know,

I’d imagined some support and compassion though.

Deluded by fake sisterhood, for all these years,

Such a shame. A terrible shame.

I’m aware I layed back into you,

Fierce Fire Ferocious words.

My instinct is to Fight not to flight, when attacked by a menacing herd.

Bombarded, lambasted, Nauseating terror incited by your strike

A gang of ugly witches,

Why not just be nice?

If you pummel a mother, doing her best with no rest,

Fire guns laced with ignorance and doubt,

Accusations of insanity like hand grenades and other nasty tests,

Then please expect profanity, that really is my best.

The absence of apology,

Final arrogance and disrespect,

Is why you are nought to me now,

Just unenlightened, washed up, old and vexed.

I’ll never understand still, how and why you inflicted such pain

You must just be really stupid, I can’t see what was to gain.

Despite my attempts to move on with you,

I really no longer can.

Swarmed with deluded esoterics,

When my child was so Ill is bizarre,

Abandoned at a time so climacteric,

Most people would be having hysterics,

Can’t take responsibility?

Have you always been this pathetic?

Okay okay I’m done.

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