Never Been Heard

(formerly The Musings and Learnings of a Widowed Bipolar Mum)

Tag: depression

  • The Ups and Downs of a Dysregulated Eater Part 2a

    HEALING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD accountable adjective Definition 1 : subject to giving an account : answerable I said I was documenting this journey in order to have some accountability. Today I feel the need to account for myself. I also have answers, just sadly no solutions yet. It has been a week of ups […]

  • My Joy, My Sad

    “Roses are red, violets are blue, It don’t always be like that, but sometimes it do”. It’s been relentless for so long I’d say this is as bad as it gets. Most days an exercise in survival. It started with depression at age 15 and a Bipolar Diagnosis at 21, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder […]

  • When Will The Tears Come

    I wrote this poem sometime in between my discoveries and trying to feel better. It was a challenging day but I managed to override inertia and inaction with some good self care. I was feeling quite trapped but I managed to carry on despite that and getting moving helped me to feel better. It’s so […]

  • Suffocating

    Are you suffering unwanted images? I don’t know what that even means. Are we talking of blood splattered villages? Or my limbs bleeding out from the seams? Are you suffering unwanted images? Yes yes it’s the weight of oppression, Of the suffocating, numbing malaise Of a relentless Bipolar Depression. Are you suffering unwanted images? I […]

  • Dirty Black Hole

    I am still battling an episode of depression. I think I was probably mildly depressed for about a year but I didn’t notice it as I’ve been living such a strange and restricted life anyway as my teen battles ME/CFS. I care, I lay down. That’s pretty much been it for nearly 2 years. I’ve […]

  • Fall From Grace-Vigilance & Honesty In Self Care

    Yesterday I posted why I haven’t been writing and why I still can’t write for a bit and it’s all very true. But this morning I woke up and realised how I am neglecting myself somewhat and how putting my writing on hold is part of that. Writing is one of my ‘me’ things and […]

  • Bipolar Depression Is A Dark Beast

    Weighing heavy on my chest Rendering me immobile as I lay My best a distant memory Day by day by day Staring into the abyss Disconnecting as you devour me Nothing is worse than this I deteriorate hourly Your ugliness reflects back in the mirror But you’ve taught me not to care I have a […]

  • The Silent Scream

    The Silent Scream-A Scuplture In My living Room Heavy head, metallic and cream, Face lined with fear, a silent scream. Cracked and cold, chills my hand and my heart. This perfect sculpture is where we start. Eyes fiercely pinpricked, A soul that is old, A young aged face, a story untold. Deep-set eyes, Dark shadows […]

  • Bipolar Disorder-The Ultimate Guide To Self Management For People Who Find Self Management Difficult

    The phrase ‘Self Management’ is thrown around freely by users and Professionals as being key to recovery and relapse prevention. Some people with Bipolar Disorder seem to have it nailed. They have good self management routines that work for them and are vital to their recovery. From what I read in peoples tweets and self […]

  • I Lost My Husband & Found A Piece Of Him In The Royal Albert Hall

                It’s been a challenging couple of weeks. Spring always is for me and it can start quite early. It is my mission this year not to have a Bipolar Depressive Episode. I am being proactive and pushing on with self-management the best way I can. My mood has definitely been on the low side […]