Never Been Heard

(formerly The Musings and Learnings of a Widowed Bipolar Mum)

Tag: rape

  • The Death Of Alice

    Hi. It’s been a while since I posted. I had a bad Bipolar mixed episode followed by Covid followed by some cPTSD trauma related issues. My therapist is also leaving. If that were not enough, now that my mind has been restored to a (relative for me), calm. I have been attacked with my Chronic…

  • Dead Behind The Eyes:A dedication to those with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the special people who work with them to find colour and life again.

    My soul is hollow, vacant, there is nothing inside. Behind the warm hazel and striking brown intensity, the mirror of my eyes, There is nothing. A grey death, a barren land, A slight wish for someone to hold my hand. I drive gently through the street, Observe how the sun, silently illuminates. The sky projecting…

  • Scrambled Eggs and Lorazepam (aka Sex with a Narcissist) rape trigger

    Today was a day I gave too much of a damn, About peoples responses, BELIEF, To me sharing your REAL crimes from my head, Lunch is Lorazepam and eggs I’ll try rhyming out scars from the dead. Self professed Batman, Superman, Classy son of an Irish Clergyman, Runner for freedom fighters Gang man Ruffian posed…

  • Can’t knock me down (brief rape trigger).

    I’ll always be a winner Not held back by sinners I’ve worked far too hard To be held back by fucktards You won’t nail me to the cross I’m too fierce, I’m too boss. I won’t be restrained By those inflicting pain By your chit chat vicious, malicious Sending me back to him again. He’s…

  • Wading Through Treacle

    I’m not even writing Frozen, freezing, fighting All energy engaged on trying to be alive Cut off from the world just trying to survive. Staying alive Functioning Surviving Keeping cat and daughter thriving. My heart hurts but you can’t see it If you hold my hand You’ll feel it Look deeply in my eyes You…

  • The Ups and Downs of a Dysregulated Eater Part 2b

    Shortly after having made this journey to simply improve my health through eating better and quitting my daily diet of fat and sugar crammed carbs, I became over focused on a picture of myself looking slim. I opened it up and stared at it for prolonged periods and I don’t know why. I don’t want…

  • Pink Pills-trigger date rape/drug rape (Rape poem 2)

    There was no option to consent Drugged, drinking before we went to your home I’m puzzled HOW or WHY I left mine No recall But I can “see” it had started already Seedy, disgusting, sweaty. I didn’t want it You were old, overweight and ugly. In comparison a girl young and lovely, Worth more. Why…

  • Happy Go Lucky Girl Child-Innocence Lost Poem 2 (Trigger CSA, rape)

    Grieving the happy go lucky girl child Walking hand in hand with a man with a tan Intoxicated not accustomed to drinking A walk on the beach not really thinking. Feeling a little plucky I guess Looking for a tale to tell A little adventure Maybe a kiss Nothing rough Painful Or mucky I really…

  • I’m sad today but I have hope

    Hi. Happy Saturday. It was a happy start to the day having a brunch date with my teen where we ate a spectacular pancake stack dripping with Greek yoghurt, fruit compote and loaded with blueberries. I love walking with linked arms down the street with her and having some quality time. She’s so busy these…

  • Don’t call me an “Abused”person

    It’s been 4 months since I found myself in a retrospective analysis of my life caused by distress, emotional pain but also numbness, fatigue and exhaustion, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts and dissociation, difficulties controlling my emotions and responses and difficulties being around other people. I didn’t want to do anything but lay down and listen to…