Never Been Heard

(formerly The Musings and Learnings of a Widowed Bipolar Mum)

Author: Alice Willow

  • Can’t knock me down (brief rape trigger).

    I’ll always be a winner Not held back by sinners I’ve worked far too hard To be held back by fucktards You won’t nail me to the cross I’m too fierce, I’m too boss. I won’t be restrained By those inflicting pain By your chit chat vicious, malicious Sending me back to him again. He’s […]

  • Savage Sisters Try To Steal My Sanity

    Grotesque, greasy mouths, generate accusations and denunciations. They slip easily from the ugly, gaping holes of empty souls. Fired by spittle it’s plain to see they’re brittle. A pile of stinking crumbs makes it clear the source is dumb. But launched at someone with trauma, they penetrate the fragile aura. With the force of a […]

  • Goodbye Sister Doubt

    Conversation with you leaves my heart with a contusion, Building fake love, mending, blown with sudden, leaking communion. A mind spilling with ill will and too much pollution, Ugly and arrogant delivering slimy execution. Bestowing heartbreak and confusion. Following the short lived illusion. You’re completely inept to understand the situation. Swimming in lack of knowledge […]

  • Forgive them, they know not what they do

    You’re doing it again Mum But now I know your game, The strategies you use, Tired, old, lame. I still feel disturbed and anxious, But instead of feeding you, Ill curl up with my black puss, Whilst I think of something better to do. It’s been a week of loss, Of those that I hold […]

  • Wading Through Treacle

    I’m not even writing Frozen, freezing, fighting All energy engaged on trying to be alive Cut off from the world just trying to survive. Staying alive Functioning Surviving Keeping cat and daughter thriving. My heart hurts but you can’t see it If you hold my hand You’ll feel it Look deeply in my eyes You […]

  • This is all

    It’s flattering to be called resilient and feel validated when you are down but “resilience” being used as your main compliment time after time can leave you wanting in this way. Sometimes I’d rather be loved than resilient. Or have someone hear my pain. Or be in the position of not having experienced so much […]

  • My Best Friend

    My best friend, a gem for 28 year, Rare, admired, valued, In my heart held so dear, Shared laughter, past debauchery and sometimes a tear, Shared secrets, shared growth and sometimes shared fear, Always we listen, always we hear, Even when apart, our love it is near. She sees my worth, recognises my strength, For […]

  • Loving a Narcissist

    Into in my life you flounced Self sales pitch left me astounded All my senses surrounded Feet swept off the ground Unaware my mind and body were about to be impounded. You intended to deflower My mind and steal my body like a prowler So insidious I’d not notice, certainly not flounder Even though at […]

  • The Ups and Downs of a Dysregulated Eater Part 2b

    Shortly after having made this journey to simply improve my health through eating better and quitting my daily diet of fat and sugar crammed carbs, I became over focused on a picture of myself looking slim. I opened it up and stared at it for prolonged periods and I don’t know why. I don’t want […]

  • The Ups and Downs of a Dysregulated Eater Part 2a

    HEALING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD accountable adjective Definition 1 : subject to giving an account : answerable I said I was documenting this journey in order to have some accountability. Today I feel the need to account for myself. I also have answers, just sadly no solutions yet. It has been a week of ups […]