Never Been Heard

(formerly The Musings and Learnings of a Widowed Bipolar Mum)

Author: Alice Willow

  • Smashed up by sisterhood

    How could you think it my fault? Would SHE really have made it up? Or is blaming me your default? Her team say it’s you who fucked up. Your thoughts, stereotyped and malignant Surpassed only by your mental abuse Yet you wonder at my indignance, Can you really be quite so obtuse? Tried to educate […]

  • Friendship Lost & Facing your battles alone

    A bumpy dream of you last night A thorn vaguely pricks, my stomach, my side. Feelings from the vision More real than television A tiny tug inside my heart A throbbing recognition Of the loss that has passed me by. When you headed out to sea, A metaphorical peninsular, It certainly seemed natural, You always […]

  • In Line, Serenity, Harmony

    MEANS what to me? Absence of nagging anxiety, Without wild outbursts Inside of my head or outwards Simply hugging them and me Or wrapping my arms around a tree. In line, serenity, harmony Means what to me? In line, an ebb and flow is fine. Happy not to ride the rollercoaster, Intimidating, overwhelming times. Living […]

  • Balance

  • Suffocating

    Are you suffering unwanted images? I don’t know what that even means. Are we talking of blood splattered villages? Or my limbs bleeding out from the seams? Are you suffering unwanted images? Yes yes it’s the weight of oppression, Of the suffocating, numbing malaise Of a relentless Bipolar Depression. Are you suffering unwanted images? I […]

  • Dirty Black Hole

    I am still battling an episode of depression. I think I was probably mildly depressed for about a year but I didn’t notice it as I’ve been living such a strange and restricted life anyway as my teen battles ME/CFS. I care, I lay down. That’s pretty much been it for nearly 2 years. I’ve […]

  • Reflections

    Who am I? Who was I? Who is she? Who was he? What the hell happened over here? I found this poem in a notebook yesterday, some of my reflections in December. It is a poem of reflection of the growth, faith and promise that can come from the darkest of times. It touches death, […]

  • Untitled Part One

    The boulder is dense As I impel it up the hill. My appearance is tense As I endure this hefty bill. I’m paying to live. Recompense for the good times. Or is it my Karma? For disharmony, belligerence, negativity. The weight is so much, My hands warm and sweaty. A touch is what I need. […]

  • Walking, I am a miracle

    Hi. My absence is a long story that I don’t have time for now. I am supposed to be getting ready for one of the overnight hospital admissions that my daughter has once a month since she got sick. But I decided well not decided, impulsively chose to leave that for a bit to post […]

  • Camaraderie In Grief

    Having Bipolar Disorder, I have spoken already about how I can be cut off from my Grief. As such when Grief comes I am often grateful for the release it gives me and for the fact that it feels I am taking a step forwards in my working through my Grief process. I appreciate feelings […]