Never Been Heard

(formerly The Musings and Learnings of a Widowed Bipolar Mum)

Tag: domesticabuse

  • The Death Of Alice

    Hi. It’s been a while since I posted. I had a bad Bipolar mixed episode followed by Covid followed by some cPTSD trauma related issues. My therapist is also leaving. If that were not enough, now that my mind has been restored to a (relative for me), calm. I have been attacked with my Chronic…

  • Dead Behind The Eyes:A dedication to those with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the special people who work with them to find colour and life again.

    My soul is hollow, vacant, there is nothing inside. Behind the warm hazel and striking brown intensity, the mirror of my eyes, There is nothing. A grey death, a barren land, A slight wish for someone to hold my hand. I drive gently through the street, Observe how the sun, silently illuminates. The sky projecting…

  • Your Dying Was A Great Blessing (Emotional Abuse at the hands of a Narcissist).

    You don’t own this home, but you do. Whether in it or missing from it, After a bout of silent, savage, hissing, I can be found frozen, afraid, sitting, Not knowing what to do next, Shocked, where’d the bliss go? There never was much kissing. I hate you, I’m glad that you are dead, I’m…

  • Scrambled Eggs and Lorazepam (aka Sex with a Narcissist) rape trigger

    Today was a day I gave too much of a damn, About peoples responses, BELIEF, To me sharing your REAL crimes from my head, Lunch is Lorazepam and eggs I’ll try rhyming out scars from the dead. Self professed Batman, Superman, Classy son of an Irish Clergyman, Runner for freedom fighters Gang man Ruffian posed…

  • Can’t knock me down (brief rape trigger).

    I’ll always be a winner Not held back by sinners I’ve worked far too hard To be held back by fucktards You won’t nail me to the cross I’m too fierce, I’m too boss. I won’t be restrained By those inflicting pain By your chit chat vicious, malicious Sending me back to him again. He’s…

  • Wading Through Treacle

    I’m not even writing Frozen, freezing, fighting All energy engaged on trying to be alive Cut off from the world just trying to survive. Staying alive Functioning Surviving Keeping cat and daughter thriving. My heart hurts but you can’t see it If you hold my hand You’ll feel it Look deeply in my eyes You…

  • Loving a Narcissist

    Into in my life you flounced Self sales pitch left me astounded All my senses surrounded Feet swept off the ground Unaware my mind and body were about to be impounded. You intended to deflower My mind and steal my body like a prowler So insidious I’d not notice, certainly not flounder Even though at…

  • When Will The Tears Come

    I wrote this poem sometime in between my discoveries and trying to feel better. It was a challenging day but I managed to override inertia and inaction with some good self care. I was feeling quite trapped but I managed to carry on despite that and getting moving helped me to feel better. It’s so…

  • I’m sad today but I have hope

    Hi. Happy Saturday. It was a happy start to the day having a brunch date with my teen where we ate a spectacular pancake stack dripping with Greek yoghurt, fruit compote and loaded with blueberries. I love walking with linked arms down the street with her and having some quality time. She’s so busy these…

  • Don’t call me an “Abused”person

    It’s been 4 months since I found myself in a retrospective analysis of my life caused by distress, emotional pain but also numbness, fatigue and exhaustion, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts and dissociation, difficulties controlling my emotions and responses and difficulties being around other people. I didn’t want to do anything but lay down and listen to…