Never Been Heard

(formerly The Musings and Learnings of a Widowed Bipolar Mum)

Tag: emotionalabuse

  • Dead Behind The Eyes:A dedication to those with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the special people who work with them to find colour and life again.

    My soul is hollow, vacant, there is nothing inside. Behind the warm hazel and striking brown intensity, the mirror of my eyes, There is nothing. A grey death, a barren land, A slight wish for someone to hold my hand. I drive gently through the street, Observe how the sun, silently illuminates. The sky projecting…

  • Your Dying Was A Great Blessing (Emotional Abuse at the hands of a Narcissist).

    You don’t own this home, but you do. Whether in it or missing from it, After a bout of silent, savage, hissing, I can be found frozen, afraid, sitting, Not knowing what to do next, Shocked, where’d the bliss go? There never was much kissing. I hate you, I’m glad that you are dead, I’m…

  • Lemonade for the Renegade

    Your immaturity finds it’s way to the stage in rage. Forceful and Fierce, I cause you to disengage. A futile routine seeking change, you’ll never reach that place Once more your default action is to confine me to a cage. You say, all the gang say, I don’t know how to behave. In reality, I’m…

  • Can’t knock me down (brief rape trigger).

    I’ll always be a winner Not held back by sinners I’ve worked far too hard To be held back by fucktards You won’t nail me to the cross I’m too fierce, I’m too boss. I won’t be restrained By those inflicting pain By your chit chat vicious, malicious Sending me back to him again. He’s…

  • Savage Sisters Try To Steal My Sanity

    Grotesque, greasy mouths, generate accusations and denunciations. They slip easily from the ugly, gaping holes of empty souls. Fired by spittle it’s plain to see they’re brittle. A pile of stinking crumbs makes it clear the source is dumb. But launched at someone with trauma, they penetrate the fragile aura. With the force of a…

  • Goodbye Sister Doubt

    Conversation with you leaves my heart with a contusion, Building fake love, mending, blown with sudden, leaking communion. A mind spilling with ill will and too much pollution, Ugly and arrogant delivering slimy execution. Bestowing heartbreak and confusion. Following the short lived illusion. You’re completely inept to understand the situation. Swimming in lack of knowledge…

  • Forgive them, they know not what they do

    You’re doing it again Mum But now I know your game, The strategies you use, Tired, old, lame. I still feel disturbed and anxious, But instead of feeding you, Ill curl up with my black puss, Whilst I think of something better to do. It’s been a week of loss, Of those that I hold…

  • Wading Through Treacle

    I’m not even writing Frozen, freezing, fighting All energy engaged on trying to be alive Cut off from the world just trying to survive. Staying alive Functioning Surviving Keeping cat and daughter thriving. My heart hurts but you can’t see it If you hold my hand You’ll feel it Look deeply in my eyes You…

  • Loving a Narcissist

    Into in my life you flounced Self sales pitch left me astounded All my senses surrounded Feet swept off the ground Unaware my mind and body were about to be impounded. You intended to deflower My mind and steal my body like a prowler So insidious I’d not notice, certainly not flounder Even though at…

  • The Ups and Downs of a Dysregulated Eater Part 2a

    HEALING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD accountable adjective Definition 1 : subject to giving an account : answerable I said I was documenting this journey in order to have some accountability. Today I feel the need to account for myself. I also have answers, just sadly no solutions yet. It has been a week of ups…