Never Been Heard

(formerly The Musings and Learnings of a Widowed Bipolar Mum)

Tag: poem

  • The Death Of Alice

    Hi. It’s been a while since I posted. I had a bad Bipolar mixed episode followed by Covid followed by some cPTSD trauma related issues. My therapist is also leaving. If that were not enough, now that my mind has been restored to a (relative for me), calm. I have been attacked with my Chronic…

  • Dead Behind The Eyes:A dedication to those with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the special people who work with them to find colour and life again.

    My soul is hollow, vacant, there is nothing inside. Behind the warm hazel and striking brown intensity, the mirror of my eyes, There is nothing. A grey death, a barren land, A slight wish for someone to hold my hand. I drive gently through the street, Observe how the sun, silently illuminates. The sky projecting…

  • Scrambled Eggs and Lorazepam (aka Sex with a Narcissist) rape trigger

    Today was a day I gave too much of a damn, About peoples responses, BELIEF, To me sharing your REAL crimes from my head, Lunch is Lorazepam and eggs I’ll try rhyming out scars from the dead. Self professed Batman, Superman, Classy son of an Irish Clergyman, Runner for freedom fighters Gang man Ruffian posed…

  • Lemonade for the Renegade

    Your immaturity finds it’s way to the stage in rage. Forceful and Fierce, I cause you to disengage. A futile routine seeking change, you’ll never reach that place Once more your default action is to confine me to a cage. You say, all the gang say, I don’t know how to behave. In reality, I’m…

  • I am the Master of Me

    I am not broken, Though my energies spent, You were hell bent on destroying me Though you faked concern, cloyingly I am the master of me. I AM the master of me Boundless strength inside of me A cleansing well to use To fight memories of abuse To reconnect my head to my body Dispel…

  • Can’t knock me down (brief rape trigger).

    I’ll always be a winner Not held back by sinners I’ve worked far too hard To be held back by fucktards You won’t nail me to the cross I’m too fierce, I’m too boss. I won’t be restrained By those inflicting pain By your chit chat vicious, malicious Sending me back to him again. He’s…

  • Savage Sisters Try To Steal My Sanity

    Grotesque, greasy mouths, generate accusations and denunciations. They slip easily from the ugly, gaping holes of empty souls. Fired by spittle it’s plain to see they’re brittle. A pile of stinking crumbs makes it clear the source is dumb. But launched at someone with trauma, they penetrate the fragile aura. With the force of a…

  • Goodbye Sister Doubt

    Conversation with you leaves my heart with a contusion, Building fake love, mending, blown with sudden, leaking communion. A mind spilling with ill will and too much pollution, Ugly and arrogant delivering slimy execution. Bestowing heartbreak and confusion. Following the short lived illusion. You’re completely inept to understand the situation. Swimming in lack of knowledge…

  • Wading Through Treacle

    I’m not even writing Frozen, freezing, fighting All energy engaged on trying to be alive Cut off from the world just trying to survive. Staying alive Functioning Surviving Keeping cat and daughter thriving. My heart hurts but you can’t see it If you hold my hand You’ll feel it Look deeply in my eyes You…

  • My Best Friend

    My best friend, a gem for 28 year, Rare, admired, valued, In my heart held so dear, Shared laughter, past debauchery and sometimes a tear, Shared secrets, shared growth and sometimes shared fear, Always we listen, always we hear, Even when apart, our love it is near. She sees my worth, recognises my strength, For…